I just talked myself down from a panic attack. Ok, not entirely down. Focusing on breathing and distraction. Drinking water. I’ve never had to do this before. I almost never get to this point. Usually when I do, someone else is reachable. Tonight it’s just me. I could reach out and find someone but I’ve gotten so scared of other people for some reason. No, that’s not right. I’m scared of being me around other people. I’m scared of showing weakness. My head really hurts. I hope I can go to sleep soon. I hope this will release me soon. If you’re fighting tonight, stay strong. You’re not alone.
Sorry for the delay, back from vacation. Somebody figured out that Bipper in the Reverend outfit was inspired by Robert Mitchum in Night of the Hunter. That’s my favorite movie and a big influence on many artist I know. There are other secrets hidden in the designs though…
Bill pays Dipper a visit- Original special poses and designs by master of nightmares Robert Ryan Cory!
i developed a self-depreciating sense of humor as a method of coping with my insecurities and social anxiety because it’s a lot easier to deal with people laughing at you when you’ve already beaten them to the punch by laughing at yourself
It’s all well and good to have that now while you need it, but don’t let it become permanent. One day you’ll realize you don’t need to bash yourself. One day you’ll want to love yourself and you’ll have a ton of trouble. It’s so hard to turn that voice off. It takes hold of you.
I started putting myself down at 15 to combat my mom’s horrible words about me. I thought it was helping to make her words not hurt. I’m 32 now. I cut all contact with her almost three years ago. I’m trying to heal. The problem is that while her words were damaging, my words were worse. It’s easy to argue things that other people say about you. Those people aren’t permanent. Their opinion won’t matter in 5 years. You, on the other hand, will never be able to walk away from yourself. You will always be there. It gets harder to ignore words said in your own voice. Eventually they weave themselves into the fabric of YOU and they’re very hard threads to remove.
Put yourself down for now if you need to, but don’t let it take hold. Don’t let it become habit. You really aren’t as bad as you think and you deserve better.